But Tarry

I just got back from Russia on a missionary trip. It was amazing, but it has opened my eyes to a problem in my life; not only the trip, but God has been bringing this to my attention for some time now, I have just experienced it first hand while in Russia, or maybe when I got back.
While I was there, I noticed, once again, my failing, or struggle, to read my Bible and meet with God every morning. It's not a ritual, it's not needed, but that drive and desire to come to God first thing in the morning just isn't in me. And yet it's in everyone around me. I am painfully aware that I am missing something in my walk. For a while I thought it was my salvation, but that wasn't adding up. Salvation comes in an instant when asked for with a sincere heart, understanding you're sin, the need for repentance, that this is giving your life to Christ, and letting Him be Lord of your life. I know all this, I believe all this, but something is still missing.
Remember before Jesus ascended, He commanded the disciples, and all His followers, to "tarry in Jerusalem until you are endued with power on high." He said, "I will send my helper to you, but he can't come until I have gone." The disciples went back to Jerusalem for a few weeks if I'm correct. Are we assuming that it took a few weeks of determined prayer for their salvation to take affect?  They were already saved at this time. So what is this? And why haven't we done this? We in America are all so timid and scared to share our faith, either that or we do it with pride, debating to show our intelligence instead of share the Gospel. We are missing the Holy Spirits presence in our lives. We're living off our own drive, our own determination, our own power, our own ability to serve God, and we can't. It is physically impossible to be all that God wants of us. We're trying to do this on our own when God has offered us the indwelling of His Holy Spirit to bring us through our walk with Him. We can't love God the way we should. We can't serve God the way we should. We can't reflect Him on our own. We should be totally dependent on the Holy Spirit. In His presence we are helpless and nothing, and His love is so encompassing and suffocating, it would kill our physical bodies to experience the full effect of it.
From here on out, I'm going to tarry in Jerusalem for the Holy Spirit. I don't care how long it takes, I can't take any steps forward until I'm endued with the power and the confidence of Christ. I need that fire, that drive, I want the presence of God in my life, and I want to desire it more than food, more than water, more than comfort, more than fleshly love. I'll go out to the wilderness and cry to the sky for the presence of God in my life. I'll sit in the dark and whisper into the silence for His fire to ignite in me. I will seek Him earnestly, devoutly; I want this more than anything. It will be hard, self-denying, a fast of everything that takes up my time. I won't ignore responsibility, but I'll put this before it. God come upon me! I wont stop asking until You do! I want your Spirit! I want Your fire! "Take my body, take my blood! Spend it any way You choose."
Do you want more of God? Don't You want His promised helper? Or are you too busy to tarry in Jerusalem until He comes?