Something Philosophical

I'm gonna post something philosophical now, lol, ready? Something must be said about being able to wash the make up from your face and say, "There I am." I haven't been able to do that in- ever, until now. I avoided wearing makeup because it was depressing to wash off, and feel I was somehow washing away beauty, only to be left with my face, which I was not very satisfied with. I realized though, that this was a cycle. If someone could tell me I look good without makeup, why couldn't I see it? I was desensitized. I needed to stop wearing makeup, to give myself time to get used to the way I look, before I could find myself beautiful. It took years, it was hard; walking around without any makeup on, feeling ugly for the majority of the time, feeling less-than because I wasn't doing something that every other girl I knew did and that society told me I had to do to be beautiful. I still enjoy putting on makeup, I enjoy wearing it, but I couldn't keep going on like that every day; it was awful. When I wore makeup, I felt ugly every night when it came time to wash it off. When I stopped wearing makeup, I was forced to look at what God gave me every day, all day, and it became beautiful, like anything else in the world can if we give it a chance. Today, I put on makeup. Tonight, I postponed washing it off as long as I could, like I always do, because it's the scariest part of wearing makeup. But when I washed it off tonight, instead of feeling like I was washing off beauty, I felt like I was washing away fake. I started to see my face, and remembered who I am underneath and how I love the way I look now. I'm different, I'm unique, I'm who God made me. I thought, "There you are," to myself, "this is the woman I want people to know; this is the woman I want someone to fall in love with one day." This is groundbreaking. To be happy with my own face, fresh, unpainted. I liked the way my makeup looked today, but not as much as I liked seeing my face washed clean. I can honestly say I like my own face without makeup better than with. This is crazy.