Criminal.

I, lol, isn't it funny how we all have one or two sins we really don't believe are sins? When I say funny I am laughing cynically to myself; this sucks. I am so perturbed right now. 

I backed up all my files, and when I reformatted my computer I lost a ton of pictures, important pictures, like my friends Engagement photos, my brother's Engagement photos, but my Mexico mission trip photo's. 

I also lost a ton of music. Music I downloaded off youtube, illegally. I was SO upset; still SO P-ERTURBED 

Maybe it's because this is the second time I've lost so many pictures to a freak accident.

Maybe it's because I really love the music I lost.

Maybe it's because it took me all day to download all that music.

Maybe it's because now I have to find a new youtube downloader.

Maybe it's because this music is a type of "comfort food" dare I say "porn" kind of idol to me. [Maybe that's why God deleted it.]

I don't know why it makes me so mad that it's gone.

So mad I just dowloaded youtube downloader.

Now granted I have a conscience, thank God.

I couldn't even bring myself to download one song with it.

I began wondering to myself,

"WHY doesn't this bother me?!"

At least I'm bothered by sin,

I just can't bring myself to see this as sinning!

I know it is,

There's no excuse for stealing,

Just know the music cost's $50 an album, and I don't even want every song!

The songs I do want aren't on itunes XP

I want to disregard this and do what I want, SO BADLY,

But I can't.

I'm mad at myself,

Or at least,

My flesh is furious with my spirit,

And my spirit is annoyed with my flesh.

I feel so terribly TORN and angry.

I asked myself why I didn't think it was wrong.

My flesh answered, because it's so easy,

If it were against the law, 

It wouldn't be that easy.

In fact it's so easy I should just do it anyway because the people who made it illegal should try harder if they want to stop me.

They have enough money anyways.

Those are all the excuses my flesh gives me.

My spirit comes back with,

No, you know in the past, sinning is always easy.

I was always surprised by how easy it would be to get away with something.

Stealing,

Smoking,

Killing,

Even I could get away with it,

I would sit and concoct elaborate plans of how I could get away with the crime.

I never went through with it,

Once again, thank God for my conscience and fear of getting caught.

Which happened EVERYTIME I tried to get away with something anyway.

SO my sin,

The one I have a hard time accepting as sin in my heart,

I have all the knowledge of why it's a sin,

Is downloading free music.

It's all gone now though XP

Sigh, and I don't have the heart to download anymore :C

I'll miss you Vitas............