Human Rights

There is a rising epidemic in wealthy Christians today.

First off let me 'specify' what a "wealthy" Christian is.

IF you live in America, Canada, or Europe [Europe is a little shaky though as persecution rises] then YOU are a wealthy Christian.

Why?

Because you don't have to worry about survival everyday. You know you'll have food to eat, a place to sleep, people to help you. Even most homeless in this country are more wealthy then those in third world countries. You have luxuries. You don't need a tv, a cell phone, a wall phone, a computer, a couch, etc. to live. You are wealthy.

This epidemic, is "human rights." Wealthy Christians are falling into this mindset, that it is more important for people around the world to be treated correctly by others and taken care of, then to be given the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

This is not a Biblical view. This does not in any way line up with God's Word.

The Bible says, there will be tribulation in the world. It says that we will ALWAYS have the poor and the sick. Life cannot be perfect in a world ruled by sin

Christianity isn't about taking care of the world's physical needs. It's about spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ, so the HE can take care of their needs. He says, in the world, Christians WILL be persecuted, and suffer, because those in darkness, do NOT like the light coming, and illuminating their evil deeds. We suffer for Christ, who suffered for us. We are persecuted for Christ, who was persecuted for us. And we die for Christ, who died for us.

Why do you worry about suffering or dying? Don't you have hope in Christ, in His promise and resurrection, that you will be with Him in eternity? Death is not end and suffering is not forever.

Don't you realize that we can't change suffering in the world, but we can offer Christ, who has the power to change suffering, and comforts those who suffer?

And if we could make everyone treat each other right and enforce human rights, aren't they still bound for Hell without Christ? What is more important? Comfort on earth? Or life after death?

"In this world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." John 16:33

"We are hard-pressed from every side, yet not crushed, perplexed, yet not in despair, persecuted, but not abandoned, struck down, but not destroyed." 2 Corinthians 4:8

Somehow, wealthy Christians have become to believe that believing in Jesus Christ means your life will be comfortable, prosperous, and full of charity.

Here's your reality check brothers and sisters. Living for Christ, is a scandal, the world will hate you, there are only three ways people respond to the gospel: in relief, in rage, or in ridicule. Some people will hate your guts, hate the ground you walk on. Few will cherish your witness. If you're not experiencing persecution of some kind, then you're either not standing up for the faith, you don't really live what you say believe, or you have no idea, what you believe.

Don't be offended, take it to heart. Get into the Word of God, and discover the truth.

Seriously.

SERIOUSLY. Why are there so many crazies around, calling themselves Christians, and doing WHATEVER the heck they want!? Please, PLEASE! LISTEN C-L-O-S-E-L-Y when I say this,


YOU CAN NOT DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.

IF you SERVE God, you follow HIS laws.

YES God loves you. YES there is grace! and YES where sin abounds grace abounds much more!

But should we continue in sin? NO!

IF you are continuing to sin after you PROCLAIM to be saved, then WAHT do you think God has saved you from!? Because OBVIOUSLY, sin is still an accepted part of your life!

And you're like,

But the Bible doesn't say anything about THIS being a sin!

GAAaa---_!!

Is it SO hard to grasp?!

Am I the ONLY one who gets it!?

You're KILLLING ME.

EVERY THING YOU'RE UNSURE OF IS ANSWERED IN THE BIBLE. Not specifically, it's in smaller categories.

Example:

MURDER- SIN

HATE- MURDER- SIN

SEXUAL IMMORALITY- SIN

LUST- SEXUAL IMMORALITY- SIN

STEALING- SIN

DOWNLOADING ILLEGAL MUSIC- STEALING- SIN

LYING- SIN

FIBBING- LYING- SIN



"Come on Hannah, why do we have to talk about Hellfire and Brimstone today?"

"BECAUSE IT MATTERS"

SOO MANY will say LORD, LORD!

And He will say, I NEVER knew you.

You may know the President, but they're not gonna open the White House doors for you unless the President says he knows you.

I just CANNOT wait for the persecution to get bad in this country, it WILL be through the persecution that SO many people will come to Christ.

Right now the majority of Christians in this country, and I don't just mean the ones staying home from church, I mean the Christian sitting next to you in church, I mean your Youth Leader, your Worship Leader, your PASTOR, ARE ALL JUST MISSING IT.

Christians who are like,

"I believe everyone is free to love God any way they feel comfortable."

'I' don't think you get to make that call! That's GOD'S call, and He's made Himself QUITE CLEAR.

Remember Cain and Able? God wanted the animal sacrifice, and He WOULD NOT accept Cain's vegetable offering for his sins.

Christianity isn't the Do-Whatever-You-Want-And-Go-To-Heaven religion.

It's F-O-L-L-O-W-I-N-G CHRIST.

HIS ideals!

HIS opinions!

HIS cares!

HIS leading!

NOT YOURS!

NOT YOURS!

NOT YOURS!

NOT YOURS!

You're WILLINGLY ignorant!!!

"I believe people should do whatever feels right when it comes to sex and sexual partners."

That's not what God said. Don't even get into this with me, I'll lay you out and I don't want to. You won't listen to a word I say anyway!

"I believe women should have the right of choice."

That's not what God said! Maybe you should put it in GOD's hands. Let HIM decide if He wants that baby to be born or not!

"I don't think it's a sin to cuss."

"I don't think it's a sin to listen to music about sex."

"I don't think it's a sin to make raunchy jokes."

"I don't think it's a sin to bump and grind."

WHAT BIBLE ARE YOU READING, IF ANY!?

"It's the 21st century, Modern Christianity!"

Dude you are lost! You are SO lost! There is no way you could possibly be saved!

"I love Jesus! I said the sinners prayer accepting Him into my heart! I live for Him! I'm saved!"

You're actions don't show it!

"God knows my heart!"

God wants MORE than your FEELING of love! He wants more than your affection!

He wants Your sacrificial love!

I am on such a rant right now.

God wants more than the feeling in your heart.

How do you KNOW you love God?

"I feel it in my heart."

So do I, but that's not enough.

We have to put that love into action.

It won't be graceful or perfect 100 percent of the time,

But it's the effort that counts.

What did you give God when you asked Him into your heart?

"My heart, my life."

Now what part of those are you letting Him have His way with?

Are you letting Him choose how you love, who you love, what you love, what you hate?

Are you letting Him speak through you, work through you, live and serve through you?

Are you letting Him take you to the ends of the earth?

What have you given God?

Because I see your heart and your life still clutched in your hands.

Watered Down Gospel

"But God loves me, He knows my heart." Let's say there are two types of love; affection and action. God has affection for us, but it's His action that saves us. We may have affection for God, but it's our action of accepting His action that makes us saved. I'm not saying our action saves us. I'm saying God gave you His life and His heart, all He wants in return is your life, and your heart. Now giving God your life is giving Him control of all your days, your time. Giving God your heart is giving Him control of your wants and desires. If you only feel affection for God, but have no action, you don't truly love Him, because the actions and words speak from the heart. I don't mean to say that everything you do for God has to work out perfectly, again, it's the heart that counts. If you were trying to show action to Him, and still failed, He see's the heart and your longing to love Him through action. But if you only say you have affection and feel affection, but have no action to prove it, God see's that by your heart, you love yourself more than Him. We're not to judge whether someone loves God or not though. But there are also two different types of judgment. I'll get into that later.

When we were sinners, He loved us, but we grieved Him with our sin. To continue loving us, He put forth action, which bloomed affection even more. People say in the church, don't get burned out serving, take some times to sit at His feet. Although a healthy balance is needed, I find when you put forth the action, your heart will follow. When you choose to love with action, you begin to feel affection, and when you feel affection, you begin to want to put forth action. When you give God your heart and your life, you have no more say in it. You can ask, in fact He wants you to ask for things, but you've given over control now. You have told Him you will love Him, and obey Him. These two go hand in hand. If you love your parent's, you'll obey them, and you obey them, your loving them. To love someone, is to sacrifice and or suffer for them. That's the only way to prove it. The only way to prove love is by showing that you care for them more than yourself and the only way to prove that is by helping them prosper, even at your own discomfort or suffering. If you're not proving or at least trying to prove your love, than your heart is speaking the opposite of your words.

God never said this life would be fun, fair, comfortable, or pleasurable. God suffered for you, so you wouldn't have to suffer for eternity, but He said in this life there will be tribulation [but be of good cheer He has overcome the world.] He did say that everything He teaches us and wants us to live by, He gives for our joy. He wants us to be joyful even in tribulation by all the wisdom He offers and He says that our tribulations are to prosper us in Him, bringing us closer to Him, making us stronger in Him. American Christians need's some serious persecution and suffering right now. We've bought into the lie that life should be easy and full of what we want. That death is unfair, that life should be fair. That life should be full of things that make us feel good and our time should be full of fun and entertainment. That if we hurt, if we don't feel good, something is wrong. The Gospel is watered down here and I'm tired of it. I can see how America is crumbling, and I can see God working. I know there will be a rough way ahead, but it will bring us all closer to God. We're not to have the Kingdom of God on earth, that's for Heaven, and Satan is the god of this world right now, he would never allow it.

The Beautiful Surrender

Song I wrote.

I'm so tired of fighting,

I have no fight left,

So tired of running,

And so out of breath,

Been holding my ground,

And forgetting to breathe,

Just to act like I'm fine,

So that nobody sees,

I wrestle with You,

And You wrestle with me,

I'm beginning to think,

That You let me believe,

I stood even a chance,

Against You and Your hand,

Your thumb touches my hip,

And I can't even stand,

So I fall to my knees,

I surrender I surrender,

I give up all my power,

If I had any at all,

I crumble at Your feet,

This is total abandon,

I will trust I'll believe,

I give up all control,

And I lay in a heap,

Slowly catching my breath,

I give up this fight,

All You ask, I accept,

I surrender I surrender,

I give up,

I spent so many years,

Fighting for my own way,

With nothing to show,

But a trail of dismay,

Been striving and fighting,

I'm beginning to see,

I'm not made of titanium,

My muscles grow weak,

I wrestle with You,

And You wrestle with me,

I'm beginning to think,

That You let me believe,

I stood even a chance,

Against You and Your hand,

Your thumb touches my hip,

And I can't even stand,

So I fall to my knees,

I surrender I surrender,

I give up all my power,

If I had any at all,

I crumble at Your feet,

This is total abandon,

I will trust I'll believe,

I give up all control,

And I lay in a heap,

Slowly catching my breath,

I give up this fight,

All You ask, I accept,

I surrender I surrender,

But You gather me near,

Wipe my frustrated tears,

And show me love which I have never known,

I don't know why I'd ever try,

To fight this fight,

On my own,

And You ask me,

"Isn't it hard kicking,

Against the goad,"

So I fall to my knees,

This is beautiful surrender,

I give up all my power,

If I had any at all,

I crumble at Your feet,

This is total abandon,

I will trust I'll believe,

I give up all control,

And I lay in a heap,

Slowly catching my breath,

I give up this fight,

All You ask, I accept,

For You gave me Your life,

As a sacrifice,

For all of the wrong,

I have done with my life,

And I let go of everything,

I thought I knew,

To surrender my everything,

To You,

I surrender,

I surrender,

If Anyone Loves You

People think thoughtfulness proves love. That tenderness or sweet words prove love. That's silly, thoughtfulness can be faked just as easily as kind words and "I love you"s. Love is proven through sacrifice; through suffering. You can say whatever you want and not mean it. You can even be thoughtful toward your enemy and still hate them in your heart. Suffering, and suffering long, is the only way to prove love. After all, why else would you 'chose' to suffer for someone, unless you loved them? You suffer through their failings, the times when they hurt you on purpose, their own thoughtlessness and selfishness, taking the consequences of their mistakes on yourself. That's how you know someone love's you. Now go look at everyone you know, who loves you? Your parents for one, and ultimately God. Look at what He's done for you. Suffered for you when He knew you would sin and become His enemy, was forsaken and separated from the Father even though you won't separate yourself from the world to be loved by Him who loves you perfectly. He abandoned His splendor, His throne, His perfection, to come to dirt, and poverty, to become your sins. He sacrificed His life so you could have Heaven, perfection, eternal life, true love, wholeness, holiness, even when He knew all the times you would fail Him, over and over again. If anyone loves you, it's God.

Trial's With Bugs

On Wednesday night, we had a guest guitarist play and sing for us. It was beautiful, and the Holy Spirit anointed the whole church. I was literally in the Presence of God, at the foot of His throne, worshiping at His feet. 

And then flies started accosting me [lol accost]. I found out later, the flies were actually bugging a lot more people during worship than just me. But I had my hands up, my eyes closed, and a fly lands on my hand, I shake it off, and it lands on my face, they keep doing this back and forth. Now I'm getting worried, that one is going to land in my mouth, or get sucked in while I'm singing. 

I hate bugs, any and all, from lady bugs and butterflies, to flies and spiders. I just can't stand them. They seem to constantly be coming between me and God, lol, strange to say, but I see a pattern here. I HATE bugs, and the Enemy knows this, so he see's fit to use them to make me back down. To bring up just one occasion, I was going to be singing worship with my brother, on a Wednesday night, and while we're practicing a bee, take note, a bee, at night, comes flying out of nowhere and then goes into the vent above us. At that moment I began fasting and praying. Lol, but seriously, I was fervently BEGGING God to keep that bee away from me! And having the knowledge that it's there causes the Enemy to win anyway, because now, there is no way I can fully give myself over to the worship. I know once I do, the next step of the test will commence, seeing if I can stay in the Presence of God while the bee crawls around on my hands and face.

Maybe it sounds like I'm exaggerating, but seriously, it's not that unlikely! It didn't come out during worship but it came back out during announcement and landed on the assistant pastor's face!

So the fly is bugging me, and I just wanna open my eyes, let my hands drop, and swoosh it away. I crack my eyes open and a thought occurs to me; I know it was the Holy Spirit ministering to me. You know in these times, one can say, well, God wouldn't fault you for putting your hands down. No He wouldn't or would He? In doing that, in a small way, I'm putting my own comfort before Him. He wouldn't be angry with me, let's say, this isn't a matter of pleasing God to gain salvation, but pleasing God because He's given me salvation and I love Him. Even if He didn't, He would still deserve the praise and more than I could ever give Him. The fact is I love Him, and I want to be nearer to Him, I want Him, all of Him, I want to be consumed by Him. And in this small trial, of being pestered by a fly, I have two choices; one, give in, put my hands down, and in turn fail the test and hopefully get closer to God another day, or two, endure through all suffering, big and small, significant and insignificant, for my Savior, Jesus Christ, my God, my Lord and in the end become even closer to Him, learning to depend on Him in all things. This view changing thought that came to my mind was in a way, an audible thought, and also, a wordless revelation, "There are people who remain praising His name while their finger nails are pried off their fingers, and I would put my hands down for a few flies?"

At first glance, you would say, putting my hands down was insignificant, but it's the premise, it's the principal. It's the deeper meaning, and the test of being faithful in the small things, as well as the big. I only pass through trials because of Jesus Christ's strength and endurance in me, I pray to be this successful in tribulations to come.

The Old Self Is Dead

Thank God for encouraging me.

Christ died for more than this, don't waste your life. Many will say "Lord, Lord" and He will say "I never knew you." 

Romans 6:1-7 What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.

For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been set free from sin.

Criminal.

I, lol, isn't it funny how we all have one or two sins we really don't believe are sins? When I say funny I am laughing cynically to myself; this sucks. I am so perturbed right now. 

I backed up all my files, and when I reformatted my computer I lost a ton of pictures, important pictures, like my friends Engagement photos, my brother's Engagement photos, but my Mexico mission trip photo's. 

I also lost a ton of music. Music I downloaded off youtube, illegally. I was SO upset; still SO P-ERTURBED 

Maybe it's because this is the second time I've lost so many pictures to a freak accident.

Maybe it's because I really love the music I lost.

Maybe it's because it took me all day to download all that music.

Maybe it's because now I have to find a new youtube downloader.

Maybe it's because this music is a type of "comfort food" dare I say "porn" kind of idol to me. [Maybe that's why God deleted it.]

I don't know why it makes me so mad that it's gone.

So mad I just dowloaded youtube downloader.

Now granted I have a conscience, thank God.

I couldn't even bring myself to download one song with it.

I began wondering to myself,

"WHY doesn't this bother me?!"

At least I'm bothered by sin,

I just can't bring myself to see this as sinning!

I know it is,

There's no excuse for stealing,

Just know the music cost's $50 an album, and I don't even want every song!

The songs I do want aren't on itunes XP

I want to disregard this and do what I want, SO BADLY,

But I can't.

I'm mad at myself,

Or at least,

My flesh is furious with my spirit,

And my spirit is annoyed with my flesh.

I feel so terribly TORN and angry.

I asked myself why I didn't think it was wrong.

My flesh answered, because it's so easy,

If it were against the law, 

It wouldn't be that easy.

In fact it's so easy I should just do it anyway because the people who made it illegal should try harder if they want to stop me.

They have enough money anyways.

Those are all the excuses my flesh gives me.

My spirit comes back with,

No, you know in the past, sinning is always easy.

I was always surprised by how easy it would be to get away with something.

Stealing,

Smoking,

Killing,

Even I could get away with it,

I would sit and concoct elaborate plans of how I could get away with the crime.

I never went through with it,

Once again, thank God for my conscience and fear of getting caught.

Which happened EVERYTIME I tried to get away with something anyway.

SO my sin,

The one I have a hard time accepting as sin in my heart,

I have all the knowledge of why it's a sin,

Is downloading free music.

It's all gone now though XP

Sigh, and I don't have the heart to download anymore :C

I'll miss you Vitas............

Brighter In The Dark

Sometimes I think God is just going to let this country fall. That would really get our attention. Even if we all turned back to God and He restored America, the process of slowly losing faith would begin again, because we are human. There's something about freedom and luxury that makes you forget God and live for yourself. We'd be better off 'spiritually' if we were in bondage, and isn't our spiritual health, more important than our physical? There's something about slavery and persecution that leads us to God. 

Romans 5:20 "Moreover the law entered, that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound,"



Not long after Christianity spread through Asia, the horrific persecution began. The thing I'm looking 
at is America's history, in that we've always gone though this cycle of a few generations of strong devotion 
to God, and then a few generations of falling away and then a revival. I'm discouraged that even if we have 
another revival, we'll just fall away again, but maybe we should pray that this time, we have steadfast spirits, repenting hearts, and discernment. 

I also think America would be greatly blessed by foreign missionaries. 

Mark 6:4 But Jesus said, “Prophets are honored by everyone, except the people of their hometown and their relatives and their own family.”

Have You GIVEN Your Life To Christ Yet?

You said you gave your life to Christ. Okay, what have you actually given Him? You know your life is all He wants. So simple and yet think about what that means! So many people say, "God I give You my life, take care of me and my family, take us to Heaven when we die, I will try to be a 'good person'." 

Listen, What have you given God, how do you give someone your life? What do you expect Him to take when you say that? Because you're not giving Him anything! You give Him your physical presence on Sunday morning, but He would rather you not come if all your were going to do is sit there. He wants your heart to be willing and open to it! He wants you to actually yearn to learn something about Him. He wants you to come because the more you know of Him, the closer you get, and He wants you to 'want' to be nearer to Him! 

What is this 'life' you given God? You seem to still be in control of your life! If you still have control, what have you given Him? You still do what YOU want to do, go where You want to go, watch what YOU want to watch, say what YOU want to say, think what YOU want to think, believe what YOU want to believe. What have you given God? Get on your knees and try something new, ask God, what HE wants you to do, where HE wants you to go, what HE wants you to see, what He wants you to say, think, and believe!! That is giving God your life. Giving up total control to Him. 

Why would you want to run your life anyway, when God of the Universe, who knows all, see's all, has created you with a purpose, has proved His everlasting, unconditional love by coming down from deity to dirt to die for the things you've done, is offering to run it for you? He's offering you the closest friendship you'll ever have. A friend, a father, a savior, a God, who will never leave, never fail, never hate. There will be persecution, because those in darkness hate the light; it reveals their evil deeds, but you will have God, the one who will stand by your side through it all. 

Or are you going to refuse the offer, choose to be on your own team, find your own way to Heaven, rely on your human friends, through all the world throws at you, not to mention, God says if you're not with me, you're against me. You really want to stand against God? The Bible describes those found in His presence fall on their faces in worship. You think you're different? His holiness is undeniable, and when we find ourselves at judgement, our wrongs will be undeniable. Are you going to accept Christ's life as the payment for your sins? Or fail to pay the price yourself? 

I love you, and I don't want to see you spend the rest of your life struggling on your own. No one on this earth can be there for you 110% of the time, not even me.

Do You Actually 'Know' God?

I feel like we've made God too small in this country. He's become a genie in a Bible to so many. God is more than your God. He's the only thing in the world you need. You could live the rest of your life in pitch black solitary confinement and still survive on just the presence and knowledge of who God is. 

I know you know this. For years I kept telling God, "I know You're all I need, but I want someone to love me on earth." "I know You're enough for me, but I just want this one thing." I didn't REALLY know; I knew it in my head, but not in my chest. Now I know it with every fiber of my being and it's life changing, and earth shaking. I have no boundaries! My flesh will always fear things, but my spirit fears nothing. God is so powerful and righteous and the grace He's given me, it's comprehensible!

I can do anything! I have no regrets accept my sins! Everything I can't do in this life can be done in the next! What is 80 something years compared to Eternity! Eternity is where my peace will be, but here, I will live for God.

Is God everything to you? Don't tell me God hasn't called you to dedicate your life to Him in every aspect! He's called everyone to live an extraordinary life for Him suffering persecution for His name in one way or another! American Christians are severely watered down. Wake up!! You can't live a white-picket-fence-life while living for Jesus! He said there WILL be trials and tribulations! There will be persecution in the world! But be of good cheer for He has overcome the world.

John 16:33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me you might have peace. In the world you shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

Don't Eat Shellfish? The Bible Must Be Wrong.

So, you know that whole thing where people are trying to discredit the Bible's teachings by quoting the scriptures about beating your slave and not eating shellfish? God showed me the answer. In Acts 15, (Acts is in the New Testament, the book right after the four gospel accounts, [Matthew, Mark, Luke, John] and is all about the growth of the church after Jesus' ascension into Heaven and the discipleship of new believers, Gentile, Jew, and slave alike) there were Jews coming into the new Gentile (Gentile is anyone who is not a Jew) churches and telling them that to be saved, they had to be circumcised and follow the Laws of Moses. 

This was confusing and disturbing to the Gentiles, who were told all they had to do to be saved was give their life to Jesus. Well the church elders in Jerusalem discussed what to do about this, the converted Pharisees saying 'Yes' those are important, but Peter (the disciple who denied Jesus before the Crucifixion) stood up and said, 

Acts 15:7-10, "Brothers, you know that some time ago God made a choice among you that the Gentiles might hear from my lips the message of the gospel and believe. God, who knows the heart, showed that he accepted them by giving the Holy Spirit to them, just as he did to us. He did not discriminate between us and them, for he purified their hearts by faith. Now then, why do you try to test God by putting on the necks of Gentiles a yoke that neither we nor our ancestors have been able to bear?"

You see the laws written by Moses, given by God, in the old Testament were never meant for Gentiles, they were meant for the Jews, some of these laws important for hygienic reasons, and others harsh, and others just plain silly sounding. But the point is that THEY WERE FOR THE JEWS. You can't take it out of context. At that time, God was physically purifying the Jews and setting them apart from other nations. Some of these laws were even pointless just to test the Jews obedience, and some impossible to keep, to show the Jews their own powerlessness. Please don't just read something out of the Bible, read the WHOLE Bible. It says at the end of Joshua, after ALL the laws were given, that Joshua was the witness of the Jews covenant with God to keep those laws. 

Joshua 24:14-22 14 "Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord."

Then the people answered, "Far be it from us to forsake the Lord to serve other gods! It was the Lord our God himself who brought us and our parents up out of Egypt, from that land of slavery, and performed those great signs before our eyes. He protected us on our entire journey and among all the nations through which we traveled. And the Lord drove out before us all the nations, including the Amorites, who lived in the land. We too will serve the Lord, because he is our God."

Joshua said to the people, "You are not able to serve the Lord. He is a holy God; he is a jealous God. He will not forgive your rebellion and your sins. If you forsake the Lord and serve foreign gods, he will turn and bring disaster on you and make an end of you, after he has been good to you."

But the people said to Joshua, "No! We will serve the Lord."

Then Joshua said, "You are witnesses against yourselves that you have chosen to serve the Lord."

"Yes, we are witnesses," they replied.

He spoke the truth of God; God could not forgive us without denying His holiness, at least not without the perfect sacrifice (JESUS).

Back to the early church, they sent out letters, personally delivered by two church leaders, Barsabbas and Silas, with Paul and Barnabas, saying that they were saved by the grace of God, not circumcision or following of laws none of us can follow 100% of the time. Although they did warn them to stay away from a list of other things, because there is no point in being saved, if you continue to live in what you claim to be saved from. Abstaining from sin does not save you, but it's what happens when you become saved.

And about homosexuality, some people say that because it's only mentioned as a sin in the Old Testament, that it can be ignored like the other laws. Heads up, it's mentioned in the New Testament,

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 "Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor slanderers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God."

1 Corinthians is the first letter to the early church in Corinth, warning them against living in sin after being saved. These verse aren't saying that if you have committed these sins, you can't get to Heaven! They're saying, these things are sins, and if you're still living in them, you haven't been or have refused to be, saved from them, and are not saved. They are listed together, because all sins are equal. (Murder is not listed because it is illegal pretty much everywhere, and was illegal in Corinth; they already knew it to be wrong.)

Enough About Me

So this blog will be a constant pouring out of my heart, letting you know the ways God brings me closer to Him. Recently, I have come to knew revelations of who God is. I've known Him since I was seven, but did I ever really know Him? About three years ago, I hit my lowest point, and asked myself that very question. Did I ever know God, was I ever truly saved? It was a long time before I bounced back, and it took a lot of self-examination. I wanted God, I loved Him, but I was so ashamed of the sins I had discovered in my life. I didn't pray for months because I had this block of guilt that would bring my face to the ground in His presence and yet I couldn't say a word. I had no defense, no excuse, only pleading, and I couldn't even bring myself to beg for forgiveness because I knew I didn't deserve even that. Everything turned out alright, I wanted God, sought Him out even though I would remain silent in His presence. He brought the changing to me, I could never go to God, God comes to us. The changes were evident now, my isolated life of depression was being radically challenged and I found myself, dragging myself, because of the tugging of the Holy Spirit to do things I had resigned myself unable to do. I was pulled out of my comfort zone, I would never do things that I wasn't sure of; things where I wasn't precisely sure of what was going to happen. One being church camp. I suddenly wanted to go, after years of writing it off. It was honestly a miracle that got me there, my friend worked Thanksgiving Day to pay my price, and it was life a changing time. I was moved by the last study, my eyes were opened, even for a small message, it was a message from God to me. I never go up to ask for prayer, but God told me to, and after a few worship songs of putting it off, I got up and was prayed for. I will never forget my time there, I met with God on that mountain. I came back down feeling renewed and encouraged of God's love for me and closeness in my being. Six to seven months after I had my revelation, the summer before my Senior year, I found myself googleing for short term mission trips to Russia. Then discovered a website, russianchristianmissions.org [previously 4inthefire.org] and couldn't stop this snowball of a situation. I spent ours into the night reading everything on the website, downloaded their survival guide. I don't know why I did this. I remember finding out Russia isn't exactly a free nation still, and then looking into this new found information. I remember being reminded of how Voice of the Martyrs and Operation Christmas Child came to speak at my elementary school every Christmas and they would tell stories of children in Russia and China and other communist nations, who had or were still living out their faith for Christ in persecution. I remembered being drawn to this, wanting to be a missionary, taking the funding so seriously, it was my favorite part of school. Suddenly a thought came to mind, like God speaking to me, inaudible, it was just an all-at-once thought. "That was your dream. What happened to it? Where's the girl who wanted to live for Christ? Die for Christ? You can have this still if you want it." It makes me think now of the verse, "He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it." I was so taken aback. I was the shyest girl anyone knew, I wouldn't go to camp, I wouldn't order my food at the counter, I wouldn't by my own Starbucks, I wouldn't talk on the phone, or to people I didn't know, I wouldn't even go to the school events. At that moment, I thought I would never be a missionary, it was impossible, I would never have the courage. But I do love to day dream, so I kept researching, and entertaining with the idea. When I went to church camp, December 2011, after almost a year and six months of considering this trip, I was certain God was calling me there, and I haven't recanted of that yet. I got home, and got on my computer, and committed to the trip. Since then I have been quickly and yet slowly losing myself to God. I love it. The more I let go, the more He encompasses me. It hasn't been a breeze, it's been a rough roller-coaster over the past 10 months. At one point I found myself saying to God, "Never in my life have I lived out my faith so boldly as this, to go where You call me, and yet I've never felt so far from You." I've had to face some real challenges with my shyness, and God is making me a new person. My faith will be tested like never before, it's already been tested since I committed to going on this trip; it's been tested since I made a commitment to Christ. Now in the last two months before my trip, I know things are going to intense. It would be unrealistic to expect otherwise and remain unprepared. Keep me in prayer. I went on a weekend mission trip to Mexico with my cousin and some people from both our churches in June. It was an eye opener; not only to mission work, but to myself, and how much work I still need. Thankyou for reading and I invite you to join me, as I continue to lose myself to God.

Acts 21:13 "What do you mean by weeping and breaking my heart? For I am prepared, not only to be bound, but also to die, for the Lord Jesus Christ."